Often we are turned away, told “this is just the way it is”. Have you ever left a conversation, an appointment, a disagreement and you still don’t know why?
As adults we often forget to ask why. And if we dare to think it, we quickly tell ourselves, “that’s just the way it is.” You’re an adult, get over it. Don’t ask why.
All young children go through the “why” stage. You know the age, when every other word out of their mouth is “why?”
Go put on your socks.
Why?
Don’t touch the oven.
Why?
Get in the car, we have to go!
Why?
We want to pull out our hair and yell, “because I said so” or “I don’t know!”. Children are eager to explore the world, to discover, to grow, to know. The “why” is so important to them that they show no shame or restraint.
As adults, we’re too busy, too distracted, too exhausted to ask the “why?”. What would happen if we took the time?
Why do you eat what you do? Why do you react to certain things the way you do? Why are we all striving to be like someone else when the greatest things in life – our spouses, kids, friends, coworkers – are looking us right in the face? We’re missing our own purpose for life.
We’re so distracted that grand things are passing us by and we aren’t truly seeing what we can offer and our unique gifts we have been blessed with. In our busy, two-day shipping lives we aren’t savoring the moments for which we were made.
What if we slow down and ask “why?” with the certainty that there is a response?
After an in-depth conversation with my husband, I realized so many “why’s?” I had answered over the past two years. However, at the time I was too busy screaming “why?!” to recognize the answers placed in front of me.
Every week I thought I had found an answer. Until the next week, when in complete disappointment I reached another dead end.
I didn’t quit.
Those failures were the steps to finding my “why?”
I had to learn patience, be faithful and trust that there was an answer all in good time. I had some fine tuning before the pieces fell into place.
“Why”is defined as “what reason or purpose”.
If we aren’t asking the “why’s”, we are missing a huge piece of our development. If you don’t know the reason for something, why are you doing it?
Sometimes the why’s take longer to answer, other times we may never find the true “why?”.
Don’t let that discourage you from investigating. Not asking that “why?” could be the reason you hold regret, illness, depression, failure, anxiety, anger, lack of self-confidence, overwhelming pressure, and an endless list of many other emotions.
I am challenging you to STOP, take the time to think about the situation and wait to react until you ask “why?”. Your response will be more than a reaction, it will have a motive. Don’t live in regret or miss the opportunity to change your life to a happier, more peaceful place. Just ask.
I am a firm believer that when it comes to your life, ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is a way for us to avoid reality until it comes and slaps us upside the head like a ton of bricks. Don’t be blindsided – ask why at least once a day with intention.
I know going into a situation asking “why?” can be intimidating. What if past the fear of the response there was closure, happiness, and peace?
Why take that opportunity away from yourself because of uncertainty? Do not fear the response because it could be the exact moment that will change your life forever.
Ask the “why?” knowing that it will require work and be prepared that not everyone or everything will be able to give you the true answer. If you go into every situation knowing that there is a “why?”, you can have clarity. There is a purpose that such people are in your life at this time. Recognizing, cherishing, learning, caring, are essential to redeeming the true objective.
Know that we are all vulnerable and can be fragile throughout our lives. You will find true devotion with those who take the time to answer and stand beside you while you seek.
What if we started with the why like we did as children, instead of ending with the why?
Take the time to ask the “why”.
-Amanda